How can you sit there calmly eating muffins when we're in this horrible trouble?

( Former Characters )

Whoa hey guys, I have it on good authority that I still exist, but I never trust authority, so I may actually be a robot replica.

This is a drive-by unhiatus of FT nostalgia for the almost one-year anniversary of the first kilt-infested, rooftop sword fightin', Aesopian hanky-panky, mother-hen Jess-ing Party of Byronic Proportions. I missed the Pirate Pub Takeover anniversary and could no longer bear the shame.

I am doing pretty super, and I hope you all are, too. I sort of miss you guys in the face.

( Keep me crackin' like a bubble: pop pop pop )

( The entire British empire was built on cups of tea, and if you think I'm going to war without one, mate, you're mistaken. )

( I prefer a gentlemanly fool any day. There is more to be said for stupidity than people imagine. Personally I have a great admiration for stupidity. It is a sort of fellow-feeling, I suppose. )